Question: Rockie asks: The people in my family like to complain. Any time we get together, it is almost a contest to see who’s got it worse. Its either their illnesses, or the economy or their kids. I don’t want to hear this anymore, but I can’t not be there when we get together. Can I change them? Should I avoid them? What should I do?
Answer: Ease out of it. Take small steps at a time. If there are people you have to associate with, perhaps at a family function or event, do what I call “hug and run”. Say hello, give them a kiss on the cheek, ask about the children and respond to every statement of sorrow with, “I know he is doing wonderfully!” Then excuse yourself and go talk to someone across the room who is more positive. Don’t allow yourself to be drawn into a conversation about ailments or lack or limitation of any kind. Know that the purveyors of doom are acting out the bad habit of perpetuating fear or worry. Bless them and send them loving energy, then ease out of it. Resist being drawn into a debate. Although some debating is stimulating and can be positive when it is a genuine sharing of ideas, most of the time both sides are adamant in what they believe and neither are really listening to each other but are only preparing their next chance to refute what the other is saying. When you feel yourself being drawn in, ask yourself “is this creating more love or more light?” If it isn’t, hug and run.
I’m sitting next to someone at work who complains for most if the day about everything and is awkward in her behaviour – yes, very unhappy unfortunately. I will try this advice and wonder what you would suggest as I can’t actually get away from her while we work.
Many thanks
Jinny
I wonder if they could also ask them, “What’s good in your life?”
Well, of course you can. But my experience is – it doesn’t go well. It can be hard to turn that battleship around. The conversation often goes like: “What’s good in your life, Aunt Jane?” And she says, “Did I tell you about my operation? The doctor almost killed me.” And you say, “No, but tell me what’s good in your life?” And she answers, “I went to the bank to make a deposit today and those crooks are trying to steal all my money!” And you say, “I doubt that, but what’s happening that’s good in your life, Aunt Jane?” And she says “You know Johnny,” her son that she’s so proud of, “never calls me, never visits me. He just doesn’t care about me at all.” And you give up and go across the room to talk to someone else. Sometimes, they seem to want to convince you how bad it is. Lol.
I actually have a girlfriend who is almost that negative, and she is a student of law of attraction, too. And there have been times I’ve actually said to her, after listening to a litany of complaints and wrongs, “Look, if you can’t say something positive, I’m not going to talk to you anymore. I’m not willing to listen to this much negativity.” And the conversation changes. And, yes, we are still friends.