This little post was on one of the blogs I read, and I just had to comment. Please comment below and let me know your thoughts after you read this. I’d love to know what you think of my rant . . .
She says, “A great post C – . . . I have placed a zero tolerance on swearing in our home which everyone has agreed to. I want my home to be a peace haven exuding love. This has also included dvds and tv programmes with offensive language in it. Since this ‘ban’ was imposed I have noticed a huge change in the demeanour of the adults I share my home with. A much lighter and uplifting atmosphere prevails and the creativity and motivation is flowing. It starts with us, at home teaching others and being a demonstration of what we want to see in the world.
The next issue I am working on is to have zero tolerance on complaining. Whenever we share meals together we have a gratitude session around the table including children – this is a very humbling experience – food for the soul.
M -”
This was one in a bunch of posts of folks talking about having exclusively happy thoughts and exhorting each other to never say a negative word. I had to respond.
Hmmmm . . .I have read all the comments above and I have to say, with all due respect, I’m glad I’m not hanging out with any of you. I want to be real and I want to be free to be myself! People who are self-appointed “positive police” make me want to scream and run!
As an international law of attraction teacher since long before The Secret, (just putting a bit of my credentials in here) I tell you unequivocally that law of attraction is not about putting a happy face on when you are feeling miserable. It is not about denying your real feelings, M -. People sometimes feel angry, cranky, crabby, annoyed and other intense emotions and it is natural, and appropriate, in many situations to feel this way. Law of attraction attracts by how you FEEL, not by what you say. I always tell my students, the universe does not speak English. It is abut how you FEEL. Speaking happy words does not make you feel happy if you aren’t. And speaking happy words only makes you resentful if they are in conflict with what you are really feeling.
Repressed emotions, when unexpressed, ferment and percolate and attract according to their kind. It is so much more effective – and I can’t stress this enough – to cuss, scream and yell if necessary to GET IT OUT! Then and only then can you move toward feeling better. Repressing feelings – like having zero tolerance for negative thoughts or statements – only keeps them in growing and bubbling in the dark so they can erupt later. Brief expressions of negative emotion are therapeutic and do not attract significantly in our lives if they are not held on to. We attract from our dominant emotions (and attitudes, thoughts, beliefs and expectations) – not from brief expressions of anger.
As long as our dominant emotions are positive, we are OK. We don’t need to be 100% positive, 51% is enough to attract our good to us. Followers of Abraham will remember their analogy of the gas tank. If you are upset that your gas gauge is telling you that the tank is empty, putting a happy face sticker over it does not solve the problem . The issue has to be acknowledged and dealt with, or else it gets worse – you find yourself stranded without gas. The gas gauge is an indicator, just as are our emotions. Reading the indicator and acknowledging what it is telling us gets us a lot further than ignoring it.
BRAVO!
I think The Secret did a great job of raising people’s awareness about the importance of their mindset. But it left a lot of people thinking that the game was “fake it til you make it”. As a result, a lot of people are walking around thinking that they need to be cheerful, happy and smiling all the time even if they’re going through some of the worst emotional battles imaginable.
Good job in addressing the dangers of repressed emotions. You’re the only other person (other than me) that I’ve seen call attention to this!
Bravo!
Tony Rush
Great post! Helpful reminder about the importance of shedding negative feelings in actually having a positive outlook….sometimes a good cry is needed–and very therapeutic 🙂
Real solutions only come from realistically evaluating the starting point and dealing with real problems head-on as we steer the ship of our lives to our next port of call.
Your writings are exquisite and info dense. You provide a great balancing opportunity for all who read the messages from On High that flow through you. Well done. More please. May you be blessed today as others have been blessed through your words AND SO IT IS!
Rev. Mike
Living in an environment full of negativity is a challenge to rise to a state of finding good within oneself and around us. It is healthy to express what’s on one’s mind, so long as it is not used as a means of deliberate hurt to another. Express your feelings that are building up, but then work from within to get yourself to a better place. I, too, have moments of thoughts or expressions toward another, but express in to the other/s as tactfully and calmly as possible, and then I work on thinking of the good that came out of the situation. I used to be a person that walked around with a chip on my shoulder, but realized that being that way did not accomplish anything. I worked in improving myself, and the surroundings around me that I once thought were horrible, suddenly didn’t look so bad. I battled my ‘demons’ and became a better person because of the Law of Attraction…!
Hi Brenda
Love this comment. Tactfully . . . calmly, and then move on to thinking about what we want. You’ve got it.
100% agreed! I lived growing up not showing or expressing anger. When I was a little girl, I remember my mom constantly telling me “you are happy girl, smile, c’come smile”, I would do it but having the negative emotion still there or in other words repressed. Now as an adult, I have a difficult time expressing my anger when I’m mad, and still “practicing” what I learned…to repress. It’s hard! It sucks! Putting on a smile (what I would refer as “the sticker”) sure doesn’t help feeling happy, that’s for sure!!
I am becoming a more and more aware and working on understanding myself. Reading articles like this certainly support my endeavors on being the best person I can be.
Thanks, Ang. Life is hard when we can’t be who we are, isn’t it? Law of attraction is about looking at what is appearing for you and then changing it – not ignoring and supressing it. Then we can be authentically happy because we have changed our vibe.
I am wondering about what you say and then i am thinking of the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. If we stay in the “Now” everything is okay. If we don’t think about the past or worry about the future we will find that we are okay now.
I use to get angry and very upset over things that didn’t go my way or people who i felt wronged me, but over the years i have come to learn that these people and these situations were there to teach me lessons that i might otherwise not have noticed. So now i thank the advercity that comes into my life.
Michael Beckwith says that it is through our advercities that we grow.
Eckhart Tolle was asked by Oprah if he gets mad or angry or upset, and he responded that he cannot remember the last time he had any of these experiences. Louise Hay says she thinks positive thoughts almost 90% of the time. Wayne Dyer says that nothing bothers him anymore.
I think when we attain a high level of consciousness we realize that we no long need to have the negative feelings that we were taught to have through our socity. We watched violent cartoons as children where one cartoon character would hit the other one over the head with a cast iron frying pan when they were upset with the other character. This got into our young brains and taught us to act our on our negative feelings. How much more beautiful the world would be if we were taught instead to contemplate the situation and talked out our discontent with the person whom we felt did us wrong. We can go inside and feel the peace and BE peaceful no matter what. We have to learn to change what we have been taught.
Tho i have not achieved the levels of Eckhart Tolle or Wayne Dyer, i think i am there with Louise Hay in saying that most of the time i do not have negative feelings. Yes, things happen in my life that i wish were different, but then again i have to remind myself that these things are my teachers. I always say to myself – “what is here for me to learn from this situation”. If i look hard enough i will always find the lesson.
Bob Proctor (from “The Secret”) taught me that weather i am happy or whether i am upset, the situation is still the situation. By being angry, upset, yelling, feeling bad or any other negative emotion, it won’t change what has happened, so stay positive and change your feelings. Once your feelings change to positive, then we start to feel better inside. Always look for the lesson and grow grow grow.
Life is fun if we make it that way…. Change your beliefs andyou will change your life!
mary i
Thanks, Mary. I really appreciate your carefully thought out comment. Let me know if I can do anything for you.
Hi Lorna,I have just discovered your wonderful site.Wish I had found you way back before the secret..yay for now.Cheers Sharron.